Human society can be a very intimidating thing to try to understand. Whole disciplines have been set up to study and manage it: political science, law, economics, psychology, sociology, anthropology, business, and so on. But at its core, it’s really very simple. Society runs on one thing: trust. It’s the only game in town.
The only reason relationships and civilizations are possible is trust. If they are thriving it is because there is high trust between participants. If they are falling apart it is because there is low trust between them. Everything else is really just a proxy or substitute for it.
Money is an example of abstracted trust. It is just a promise that what is represents will be made available. When money gets debased or counterfeited, it is a betrayal of the trust it represents.
All other societal conventions are really just trust surrogates, too. Political and legal ones include constitutions and laws. Social ones include manners and etiquette, gifts and hospitality, marriage vows, reputation, and references/recommendations. Technological and institutional ones include brands, contracts, credentials, credit scores, receipts, property titles, wills, and other record-keeping systems. Even integrity and self-respect are matters of personal trustworthiness.
What all of these have in common is that without trust backing them up, they are just hollow performances at best and oppressive treachery at worst. It’s no wonder that people in low-trust societies want the benefits of living in high-trust socieites. But putting low-trust people in high-trust situtaions just ruins the trust dynamics involved.
There are no magical workarounds for this fact. Trust isn’t a geological phenomenon. There is no magic dirt that makes people more trustworthy. Trust isn’t a mere information problem. There are no magic words that make people more trustworthy. People have to decide for themselves that they will be trustworthy, and their behavior is how society can determine whether or not they deserve to be included in high-trust communities and groups or not.
All of this just reinforces why freedom of association is required for high-trust societies to develop. That means that the ability to exclude low-trust people is a pre-requisite for it. Forcing people to share polities and resources is a recipe for perpetual conflict and social decay.